Roommate Dilemmas

So one more day left before all but M & C go back to school (the reason I post more about them, as I spend 8 hours more a day with them than the other kiddos). Yeah! This has not been the most fun five days we've ever had, all cooped up together in the house, but we've made it. I'm looking forward to our weekend off coming up on Friday. As some of you know, we technically get two weekends off a month (we have the 2nd and 4th weekends), but we have chosen to only take the 4th weekend for the past eight months. With a house this young, we have found that leaving for three days every other weekend with our relief staff letting them get away with murder has been hard on us, so we've chosen to stay. Now it more like Daddy Jonathan & Mommy Debbie get a mini-vacation once a month. However, as I'm getting more pregnant, I think we'll start taking our full time off. I'm losing my mind some days (Jonathan had to gently tell me the other day I'd put all my clothes on inside out and had two different pairs of socks on) and the addition of J, another toddler who is 3 1/2, has made it harder.

So let me get to my topic of the day - roommates! Ah, the dilemma every houseparent goes through - which children work better together than others, which ones will stay up until 11 pm talking, or who might or might not play inappropriately with each other, based on their past history. We've gone through our share and are very blessed right now to have all the boys in separate rooms. The girls, however, have been a headache as we've tried the right combination since J came in. She's 3 1/2, but as big as a five or six year-old. C (2 1/2) doesn't like her much - she's too big and when she gets upset, petite C gets plowed over or her hair pulled, etc. So we separated M & C and put her into the nursery after Baby N was adopted. She's done fairly well there, though the adjustment to her toddler bed has caused a few late nights. J (5) was in a room of her own, and we put the two 3 year-olds in a room together. However, J & J go to the same school and I hate waking M up almost an hour earlier than usual, so we decided to put them in the same room together.

Can we say big mistake?

We said we'd give it a week, but I'm moving them after five days back to our original arrangement. J has reverted to a toddler again, encouraging J to some not so great behavior (such as spitting in their hands and wiping it everywhere), but the worst is that all the sudden J has stopped peeing in the toilet. Her bed, the carpet, etc; anywhere but the bathroom. ARGH!!!!! So we are moving them - I just can't take it anymore. We've done everything we can think of - nothing has worked. M is just going to have to take a good nap after lunch for getting up an hour earlier, but I can't handle J and J together anymore.

I know it will be different with our own kids (the lack of emotional/behavioral issues due to neglect, abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc), but I told Jonathan yesterday that I don't know if I'll make our future children share rooms. But then, I shared a room with my sister until I was 11 and turned out okay. So I suppose we'll see!